JUST SPELL MY NAME RIGHT -- AND THAT'S WITHOUT THE HYPHEN, PLEASE
It seems that all the rules have been thrown out when it comes to names. There are innovations from the new fashion of transgendered names (girls named "Whitney" and "Taylor") to multiple given names (like the royal procession given by my friend to her newborn son: Ezra Forrest Abraham Russell), from names "creatively" spelled, to those completely-made-up-sounding, pseudo-ethnic ones. Some rules, however, still apply, and it's high time society familiarized itself with them.
Let's focus on the difference between hyphenated and non-hyphenated last names.
A hyphenated last name is a common non-traditional (there's an oxymoron for you) last name, formed when two last names are joined with a hyphen, which, in effect, creates a new, hybrid name. While one person may inherit such a name along with genes, property or a bad temper, another will choose to adopt one -- usually a woman who links her family name with that of her husband rather than dropping hers altogether.
Some couples elect for both partners to adopt the hybrid name, sharing it with each other and any children who come along. Such is the case with writer and radio commentator Frederica Mathewes-Green and her husband Gary, an Eastern Orthodox priest. The result, they say, has been nothing but trouble.
Not least among their woes is the fact that '90s computer technology just can't handle that hyphenated name, which is forever being sliced, diced, fractured or omitted on everything from junk-mailing lists to alumni records. Their teen-age daughter says she can't wait to get married and take her husband's name.
Part of the problem seems to be not knowing whether a hyphenated name should be treated as two words or one. Let's clear this up once and for all: A hyphenated name should be treated as one word. "Progressive Filing," a textbook for office workers on filing (there are actually classes for this; I can prove it because I taught one while an English teacher at a business school) says of hyphenated names: "Consider a hyphenated part of an individual's name as one indexing unit. Ignore the hyphen." Simple enough.
But the rules change entirely with a non-hyphenated last name, such as mine, for instance.
As a prospective bride eager to face the challenges and blessings of matrimony, I was not ready to relinquish the name that had been my identity for all the 19 years of my life. Still, I was traditional enough to want to go by my husband's last name. So, I simply tagged his on to the series of my names, which he was perfectly comfortable with.
As progressive as my dearly beloved is, however, I have to admit he's less than thrilled when, on occasion, he's greeted as "Mr. Swallow Prior" or even worse, "Mr. Swallow" -- much as he does love and respect my father.
Now, getting to the rules for these tricky hyphenless combo names: My last name is, simply, "Prior"; my students call me "Mrs. Prior"; and one would properly find my name in an alphabetical listing under "Prior," with the rest of my names following in order.
Hillary Rodham Clinton and Ruth Bader Ginsberg offer other examples of non-hyphenated names. Notice that they go by "Mrs. Clinton" and "Justice Ginsburg."
But does it really make any difference?
There's always the minor inconvenience of not knowing whether to look under "P" or "S" when registering at a conference or checking in at a hotel. My students' parents often don't know whether to refer to me as "Mrs. Prior" or "Mrs. Swallow Prior." (Oh, what a world of difference a hyphen makes!)
But when the travel agent doesn't know the difference between a hyphenated and a non-hyphenated name and tickets you under the name "Swallow-Prior," there's potential problems on a national-security scale. When a name like "Swallow-Prior" gets cut off on the ticket, and all that appears is "Swallow," and you show up at the airport without a piece of identification that matches the ticket, and you're shuffled from agent to agent, trying to get checked in before your plane takes off, until a sympathetic clerk (I wonder what her last name was?) lets you go with the ticket as it is, you're in for big trouble. (It's a good thing that no suspicious packages were planted on that flight!)
Oh, I know, much more serious problems plague the world and individual lives. So, I don't spend a lot of time fretting about this. There are, after all, people with problems a lot worse.
Take my colleague, Jennifer, for example. She and her husband married a year ago, and they still haven't mustered up the courage to tell their families that she not only kept her maiden name and didn't take her husband's at all -- but, instead, he took hers.
KAREN SWALLOW PRIOR is principal of Charles Grandison Finney High School in Buffalo and a pro-life activist.
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